Lost in Translation, part three

Sometimes I wish I had a running video and recorder on to capture the most hysterical things Ava says or misinterprets. They are little sweet snapshots of innocence that will soon replaced with "big kid" understanding. It is amazing how fast it all goes.

Three of the best Lost in Translations for the week:

1. Ava and I were downstairs doing laundry together. I walked out and found a big puddle of pee on the ground that I almost stepped in (dang puppy).
 Me, totally exasperated: "Ugh, is that Urine?"
Ava: "No Mama, it is Flower's in, I went potty upstairs"

Not even kidding. I couldn't stop laughing and kissing on her


 2. Ava has been learning the concept of death and dying and graves and cremation, etc (we lost our neighbor's beloved dog recently and she has taken it so hard). She also recently attended a week of intense Vacation Bible School (see previous blog post "Religion for more details on that). She is trying to put it all together.

The other day we drove past a cemetary:
Ava: "Mommy, what are those things sticking out of the ground"
Me: "Those are gravestones sweetie. This is a cemetery.....(cue five minute explanation of bodies buried, memorials, etc).
Ava was quiet for a few minutes then:
"Mommy, did you know that when you die, your soul leaves your body? It does, and it goes to HELEN. Helen is a place that never gets dark and in Helen, you become an angel and fly around with other angels. Cool, huh?

This wouldn't be quite as hysterical if our reclusive, kind of creepy next door neighbor wasn't NAMED HELEN! All I could think of was, "wow, short trip to Helen when you die, I wonder why Helen doesn't maintain their lawn better, etc".


3. Our culdesac had a sinkhole issue a few years ago and the city came out and patched it. Our neighbor Jay texted me the other day to share that there is a small, Ava foot sized hole forming again where the patch didn't take--we have good neighbors, well except for weird Helen, but she is tolerant of us walking across her lawn to see Jay and Mo a house away, so I guess she is ok.

Driving past it Wednesday, I decided to point it out to a tired and just finished swimming Ava, who was distracted by coloring. Big, but funny, mistake

Me: "Ava, look down there. There is a little hole in the asphalt in the road. Please be careful when you run by here, you don't want to fall into the hole.

Ava, clearly not listening well: "What Mommy, I don't understand"

I repeat it

Ava, quiet for a second, then in a clearly irritated because I interrupted her coloring groove voice says, "Wait, Mommy, what are you saying about the road's asshole?"

Oh sweet Ava, you are going to be fun at Christian school in three weeks. And BAD MOMMY, because clearly we are all too familiar with that word. Woopsie!

You crack me up, little sassy pants